Sunday, December 20, 2015

Shop the stores; nevermore.

by Rick Williams


Once upon a Christmas eve
while I sat drinking, much relieved;
there came a ringing at my door.
Shop the stores; nevermore.

"What could it be?" I pondered then
"An item ordered way back when?"
I sprang and slid across the floor.
Shop the stores, nevermore.

I cracked the door and peered outside
it was late you see, and my brain was fried.
The porch light blazed, and brown he wore.
Shop the stores; nevermore.

I was so happy, though late the hour
that piles of praise on him I showered.
I attacked the box; I ripped and tore.
Shop the stores; nevermore.

Aha! It's the final thing I needed.
My Christmas shopping had succeeded!
The online world has so much to explore.
Shop the stores; nevermore.

What drove me to this shopping style?
Why did I stray from wandering aisles?
It seems only yesterday that I swore:
Shop the stores; nevermore.

The crowds of shoppers, the crazy sales
It grew too great! My patience failed!
and when I found I could take no more:
Shop the stores; nevermore.

No more traffic, no stressful pain,
from jam-packed parking lots I can refrain.
I'll sit warm inside while rain does pour.
Shop the stores; nevermore.

I'll miss the decorations of reds and greens,
and the multitude of Santa figurines.
Although "impulse" items I'll fail to score:
Shop the stores; nevermore.

I'll (not!) miss the endless Christmas songs
that play all day and all night long.
Yes, lines at checkouts make me sore.
Shop the stores; nevermore.

Although you can't touch or try things on
at least you can order before they're gone.
If it must be returned then it becomes a chore...
still...
Shop the stores; nevermore.