Rhymes for the Workplace Bathroom

By Rick Williams


[I wrote each of these to combat specific problems where I used to work]


Apparently from what I am seeing
you pick your nose while you are peeing.
Please stop it quick
'fore we get sick.
On that we're all agreeing.
_____

To flush these you must do it quick;
don't pull the handle slow.
You have to do it with a flick
to stop the water's flow.

Unless you really like to mop
the floor up every day,
flush it quick so it will stop
and dry our feet will stay.

Don't Waste the Chance

By Rick Williams


June is here
with rain--it's clear.
Don't miss a chance to mow!

The lawn grows fast
green: Unsurpassed
you can almost see it grow.

Dry days are rare
so don't EVEN dare
miss a single chance you get.

Get out on that mower
and cut that grass lower...
and HURRY--before you get wet!

Sunity

By Rick Williams


The rays of sun caress my skin
and wrap me in their glow.
It blesses me; I feel alive;
tingling from head to toe.

As summer's end grows closer
it once again sends forth
the signal to shed clothing
before winter winds of north.

The solar heat warms gently
and accompanied by breezes
the cooling effect of gentle wind
feels good on skin it teases.

All our bodies' little hairs
exposed when we are bare
are energized receptors
of the sun and breezes there.

People wear clothing since day one
and we never question why.
Most of us would never dream
of giving nudity a try.

The small amount of folks that do
know of its healing power.
It cleanses cobwebs from the mind
like taking a mental shower.

When temperatures are perfect
it's so nice to shed your clothes
But it makes a difference where you're at
before you do expose.

The best, of course, are places
out away from prying eyes.
Like forests, lakes, or beaches
with space and clear blue skies.

When finally the suns rays go
and getting dressed is near
it's hard to think that it might be
the last until next year.

This word of mine called Sunity
was invented just for fun.
You just take a little nudity
and sprinkle it with sun.

Bliss

By Rick Williams


Hot tub soaking
laughing and joking

Drinking beer
with good friends near

Warm water fun
in tropical sun

Craigslist deals
and things with wheels

Picture taking
Fall leaf raking

The smell of rain
Riding trains

Computer play
A roadside cafe

Watching good flicks
with action and chicks

Thrift store things
Hummingbird wings

Acoustic guitars
Shooting stars

Things like this
to me, bring bliss!

The Scent of a Woman

By Rick Williams


A woman's scent
will stir warm thoughts
and tie my stomach
into knots.

Is it a curse?
No, it's a blessing
it's pure pleasure
far from distressing.

When did it start?
I don't quite know,
but it did, and it
began to grow.

I'd stop, transfixed
right where I stood
with eyes closed tight
indeed I would.

With vertigo
I'd sometimes reel
my head would spin
and weird I'd feel.

The scent of any woman
is the essence of their soul
I love to breathe them in
and behind them love to stroll.

Emailed Rhymes to Dana

By Rick Williams


[Dana was the administrative assistant where I worked.  A great sense of humor and a certain amount of craziness emanated from her all the time.  The following rhymes were all things that popped into my mind and were emailed to her at various times when we worked there.]


There once was a woman named Dana
Who fell and her ass was in pain-a
It hurt her to sit
and to pee and to (uh, you know)
So from wild sex had to refrain-a.

------

Ally, Dana's beautiful daughter
to LaCroy her mom finally brought her.
She has very nice clothes
and the reason I knows
is 'cause Dana borrows some that she got her.

The mouthful of braces she had
that were bought by her mom & her dad
are finally gone
and now she can yawn
without the embarrassment she had.

Now her beautiful smile is all done
and her teeth can shine bright like the sun.
All those nice pearly whites
can shine brightly like lights
and her grin will now dazzle and stun.

------

A whoosh as Dana hurried by;
a flash of purple too.
A merry twinkle in her eye
a smile and by she blew.

Her energy seemed limitless
no pausing ever shown.
She's lucky that she wore no dress
or high it might have flown!

------

Here's a note.
I'd like to say:
I hope you have
a decent day.

I'm sorry for your
family woes
and all the stuff
that with it, goes.

Just so you know that
as your friend
I'm behind you and
support I send.

------

Dana is a naughty girl
or maybe she's pretending,
but either way is fine with me;
no risk of her offending.

I'm just a dirty-minded man
with titties on the brain
and from those thoughts of nakedness
I find I can't abstain.

Undressing ladies in my mind
is something that I do
but I've never actually attempted
to use a mirror on my shoe.

Suggestive comments, body moves
or any of that stuff
all energize my shallow mind--
I just can't get enough.

So Dana: Lay it on as thick
as you feel like you can
naughty stuff just makes my day
'cause I am just a man.

Lethargic Limerick

By Rick Williams


While commuting to work one fine day
it struck me how little I play.
Is my energy just low
or have I gotten just so
used to sitting down all stinkin' day?

Pleading for Air

By Rick Williams


The freezing rain that fell that night
broke trees and branches with its might.

Then people piled and burned the stuff
that fell when trees had had enough.

The pungent, bluish smoky haze
goes not, but rather, here it stays.

Instead of hauling it away
they opted to burn fires all day.

Sure, nature's way of pruning a tree
isn't everyone's cup of tea;

but I wish that folks would think of those
that have bad lungs or tender nose.

Our eyes burn hot when we're outside
in neighborhoods where we reside.

Come on people, stop burning crap
that's still full green and filled with sap.

House Guests

By Rick Williams


When house-guests drop into your life
you try your best to be
a gracious host or hostess;
treating them with dignity.

For their visit we must shelve
our privacy at home;
we don't know what they'll hear or see,
or where they'll peek or roam.

We know it's just for a short while
that they'll be in our way
but what an impact they can make
when in our house all day.

Their tastes or lack thereof can be
a catalyst for pain.
TV, food, or anything you do
are reasons to complain.

Let's say we choose to slave all day
to make them something great
they'll say, "Oh no--I can't eat that--
it keeps me up too late."

You do your best to keep it quiet
because that's what nice folks do
but when you need to get your sleep:
Consideration--Out it flew.

I'm sure it's not intentional
when guests step on our toes
they're just opinionated folks
with every thought disclosed.

When your rope is wearing thin,
and they're just too much to face
sneak off to your favorite private spot
you call your Happy Place.

Nipples

By Rick Williams


Nipples big, and nipples small;
I'm pretty sure I love them all.

While visible is, of course, better
I also like them under sweaters.

There's something about them that I love
but what it is I'm not sure of.

Maybe it's the boobs they're on, no
maybe it's the way they grow.

I do remember there was one time
when I was in the check-out line...

The cashier asked, "Hi, how are you?"
when I answered her nipples grew!

I think that I was mesmerized
by how they instantly re-sized.

I know I lost my train of thought
when they spoke to me, "Forget-us-not."

It's easily been decades now
since that event made me say 'wow'.

I bet I'd recognize her to this day
those nipples made that moment stay.