Christmas Cards to Ethan & Emma

By Rick Williams

[I wrote these to include in the Christmas cards I sent to my grand-kids this year.]


Merry Christmas, Ethan!
What a handsome boy you are!
Although I've only met you once
I know you're quite a star!

I wish that I could be there
and visit with you folks.
I could take your pictures
and tell you funny jokes!

Unfortunately, I am here
and you are way down there.
But some day I may visit you
and sit down in your chair!

I hope you have a wonderful
Christmas day this year.
Try to treat your sister nice
and hold her very dear!



Merry Christmas, Emma!
I hope you're doing well.
I haven't seen you in forever
but someday--time will tell!

I'll bet you're smart and talented
and get good grades and stuff.
But I also hope you're having fun
and on your brother: not too tough.

As I said in Ethan's card
I wish I was there to see
the fun and festive Christmas
at your house, around the tree!

Next time I'm down that way
I'll be sure to stop and see
you, your brother and the rest
of your loving family!

Gloomy Woods

by Rick Williams


Carefully, I choose my steps
and curse my choice of shoes
for hidden under rotting leaves
rocks and mud confuse.

It seems the farther that I go
along the forest floor
the more I notice little things
and the more I must explore.

I stop to listen, I look around
It's like I'm not alone;
my sounds seem strangely amplified
and they bother the unknown.

The pathway stretches eerily
through the dripping, silent trees.
I feel like I'm intruding here
and all the foliage sees.

It's odd how much that feeling
is more prevalent today.
It's like the rain that trickles down
gives trees much more to say.

Mind Numbness

by Rick Williams

[sitting through classes with a teacher that speaks in 500-word sentences can be a real adventure...]


I'm trying hard to stay awake;

the teacher's dial is set on "bake".

The numbing drone; I cannot see;

like mental acid, it's eating me.

Alertness, shot, I'm fading fast;

I don't know how long I can last.

But just when I can take no more

the clock smiles down and I hit the door.

Tick, tick, tick!

by Rick Williams


Tick.

Tick!

Tick, tick!

Tick, tick, tick!
the fire takes hold.

Tick, tick, tick!
warm, once cold.

Tick, tick, tick!
the woodstove heat;

Tick, tick, tick!
it's warming my feet.

Tick, tick, tick!
hotter and hotter...

Tick, tick, tick!
I need some water!

Tick, tick, tick!
that's hot enough!

Tick, tick, tick!
I'm in the buff!

Tick, tick, tick!
stop feeding it!

Tick, tick, tick!
just let it sit.

Tick, tick, tick.
ah, it's cooling.

Tick, tick, tick
no more fueling.

Tick, tick.

Tick.

Bill the Instructor

By Rick Williams


[this was written today as a thank-you for the instructor I had during a training class for up-and-coming manufacturing engineers]

There once was a teacher named Bill

who did what he could to instill

how to be an M.E.

but it was hard, for you see;

our capacity to learn was quite nil.

The Flicker

by Rick Williams


I was sitting here one cold, fall day
when I heard a thumping sound.
I couldn't tell from where it came
and I turned my head around.

I looked out the window for a sign
to explain the sound to me.
I looked around for anything
without knowing what I'd see.

I really had no clue of what
the bumps and rustling were.
I tried my best to figure it out
but they'd only randomly occur.

I thought it was the neighbor
'cause he'd sometimes bang and thump,
but this time there was no one home
to make any kind of bump.

Then I heard it one more time
when I was in my chair,
and something outside caught my eye
at the top of the window there.

On a railing below the eaves
above, where I could see;
a brightly-colored Flicker sat
and was looking back at me.

I wonder if he was angry
at what we did this year
when we cut his favorite lilac down?
He probably held it dear.

The Flicker's always loved that tree.
Perhaps it tasted good?
They covered it with little holes;
always pecking against the wood.

We finally had to cut it down
because it started failing.
The parts of it were hanging out
over driveway, cars and railing.

Maybe he was mad enough
that he tried to bore a hole
into the outside of our house.
Maybe spite was his main goal.

Well, all I can say is "Sorry, man...
we hated to cut your tree.
Now come back and have some suet.
I hang it just for you, you see."

I've Noticed as I Age

by Rick Williams


I've noticed as I age that I
smell things differently than I did.
I've also noticed as I age that
things are softer around my mid.

I've noticed as I age that my
attention span is sorely lacking.
I've also noticed as I age that
when I move I hear joints cracking.

I've wondered as I age where all
the time and all the years have gone.
I've also pondered as I've aged if
I should keep on keepin' on.

I've decided though I've aged a lot
my life is quite a ways from hell.
When comparing it to others known
I've got things pretty well.

Whew, It's Over

by Rick Williams


Election came, and finally went.
My patience for ringing phones is spent.

The endless slogans and finger pointing,
candidates righteous by self-anointing.

I'm sick and tired of political gloating
and "lesser of two evils" voting.

I'd love to live to see the day
when officials actually did as they say.

In the meantime I'm just quite happy
that this election's gone--no matter how crappy.

R.I.P. Facebook

by Rick Williams


Facebook's gone,
Facebook's dead;
at least on my computer
and in my head.

I tired of how
it took such hold;
but the power it wielded
finally got old.

I couldn't take it
any more,
so I buried mine.
How 'bout yours?

Stop Saving My Time!

by Rick Williams


We're all done saving daylight;
it's time to stop our hoarding.
Why does this thing still happen?
There's no one that's supporting.

This stupid act of juggling clocks:
It needs to go away.
Twice a year we have to face
adjustments in our day.

I really don't know anyone
that likes the stupid act.
We move clocks ahead each spring
then in the fall: retract.

It's not like there's a benefit
to saving up an hour.
It's not like we can save it
like some kind of magic power.

I know I didn't have a single bit
of extra daylight stored.
I guess a better savings plan
needs to be explored.

Seriously, there's not that much
than citizens can do.
We have to follow stupid rules
'cause that's what people do.

So if you're late or early to
wherever you were going
just tell them, "Hey, it's not my fault...
the rooster wasn't crowing."

Clothes Shopping

by Rick Williams


I sometimes think if I were gay
I'd have more flair for fashion.
The choices when I dress each day
I'd make with much more passion.

My clothes are vague and ordinary
and don't vary by too much;
I wonder which blue jeans to wear
and which t-shirt and such.

I've never really had much sense
of what or why to buy
and if I do get to a store
my shopping goes awry.

I don't know why I struggle so
when I make it to the stores
I seem to get too overwhelmed
with all those shirts and drawers.

Maybe the prices that I see
is the problem when I shop.
I see the dollars adding up,
get frustrated, and then stop.

I'm not asking for too much;
just desire and some style.
The attitude and knowledge
to go shopping with a smile.

Fireflies

By Rick Williams


Two decades of my life passed by
before I ever saw a firefly.

Because there are none where I live
I'd never seen one, please forgive.

That day the light was fading fast
the dirt road dim from shadows cast.

Then I walked out of the trees
and what I saw then made me freeze.

I was mesmerized at what I eyed
before me in a meadow, wide.

For in that open field out there
were a million blinking lights, midair.

I know that I was struck with awe
dumb with wonder at what I saw.

For I stood, transfixed, and stared in shock
and found myself afraid to walk.

I stared in wonder at the flashing show
that blinked a yellowish-greenish glow.

I never will forget that night
I saw that show of insect light.

What really made that it second to none
was before that night I'd never seen one.

Thirty years have passed since then
and I'm sure I'll never see again.

To never see, then see so many
is like someone said, "you've seen plenty."

"No more for you, you've seen the best.
Go write a poem if you were impressed."

Summer Things

By Rick Williams


Lying outside in the summer sun
listening to happy children run

Wispy dresses that light shines through
Sitting on porch steps with a microbrew

The lazy drone of a distant plane

The dusty smell of a sudden rain

The scent of grasses, yellowed and dry
swimming in lakes and rivers nearby

Colorful flowers alive with bees
The whisper of blowing leaves in trees

These are just a few of many
things of summer I love plenty.

Back in the Black

by Rick Williams

Weekday freedom ends today
I'll finally be employed.
My weekdays will no longer be
the carefree days enjoyed.

I got a lot of home chores done
and that was a good thing,
but we were missing paychecks
and the freedom that they bring.

I didn't do too bad it seems
Two months was all it took.
Some poor guys have been out there
for years and still they look.

More vacation also comes
with the new job that I'm at
and because we both like traveling
we're both really liking that.

It all apparently worked out
this unplanned change I made
I'll earn a lot more money now
like I've finally made the grade.

More Coworker Limericks

by Rick Williams


[I wrote these at work sometime back around 2004 or so, killing time while running a high-speed stamping press.  I remembered writing them, but I had given them up as lost until I just discovered them in a box of papers yesterday.  They're not my finest work by any means.]


There once was an idiot named John
who we are glad that is finally gone.
It became very clear
that when he was near
Something was bound to go wrong.

There once was a man named B.Z.
whose head was quite shiny you see.
The long stories he'd tell
would trap you in hell
and you wanted so badly to flee.

We all know that Bernie is tight.
Spending money, to him, is a fright.
If you need a new pen
better have a trade-in
or he'll put up one hell of a fight.

There once was a man named Bruce L.
who could fix anything, and do it well.
When something would break
his tools he would take
and his corn-nuts and his whistle as well.

There once was a buyer named Dale
who loved it when there was a sale.
Parts or supplies
the obscure:  No surprise
he could find it and seldom would fail.

Everyone's favorite, Elaine
is blessed with good looks and a brain.
There is little or no doubt
if she ever walks out
this place'll be unbelievably plain.

To check out part specs we see Dan.
When it comes to measures--he's the man.
You'd better well bet
that the numbers he gets
are the same as the ones on the plan.

Rod from de-burr used to lie.
He'd stand there straight-faced and deny.
His hands--they would shake,
and he'd say, "I didn't take"
Until the boss finally tired and said, "Bye."

[I apparently even wrote one about myself!]

Rick was the noisiest man
making noises all day was the plan.
People showed disbelief
at his comic relief
fearing one day he'd get out of hand.

The Phantom Scent

by Rick Williams


The thorny, naked stalks are there
but nothing else remains.
The leaves and petals are both gone
as warmth and daylight wanes.

The memory still lingers on;
I can close my eyes and smell
the natural perfume that was
the fragrant rose's spell.

The Proud Woodstove

Bow before me, yes indeed
gather round, I've what you need.

Embrace me, yes, but don't dare touch.
Believe me--you'll not enjoy it much!

I offer comfort to those of you
who might need some to see you through.

Remove your shoes and wiggle your toes
feel my warmth as numbness goes.

Feed me--don't dare let me fade
or in your home cold will invade.

Sit inside, all warm and dry
safe from the dark and rainy sky.

Years have passed and the fact remains:
Of woodstoves in winter no one complains.

The Stranger

By Rick Williams


A sleepy village changed the day
a wandering stranger came.
They had no clue their mundane lives
would never be the same.

A pair of zebras led his cart
a sight quite rare indeed
for people there had never seen
a creature of this breed.

If that were not quite odd enough
his wagon caught their gaze;
adorned with flames of swirling colors
that seemed to dance and blaze.

The man himself was very short
his ears a curious shape
he wore a tall, orange, shiny hat
and and a green & purple cape.

His mustache formed two graceful loops;
each framed a rosy cheek,
and each one of them ended
in a sharply-pointed peak.

On his chin a tiny bell
hung from a wispy beard.
It jingled very faintly
as his throat he cleared.

"Spread the word to one and all:
I've brought something to share!
Tell family, friends, and foes alike
to be here in this square."

"You'll not want to miss out
and it's absolutely free,
so tell everyone in town
that here they'll want to be."

"I'll be back later tonight
after you drink and dine.
I'll answer all your questions then
and fill your curious minds."

With that he turned and sat back down
and whistled a curious tone
the zebras jumped and off they flew
leaving blank-faced folks alone.

Several folks chased after him
but stopped at the first turn.
They stared with sudden disbelief
No trace could they discern.

They muttered, "Not a trace of dust
or track--how can that be?
He vanished like a ghost, he did
and we were there to see!"

Slowly, folks began to leave
and go about their day
But there was lots of talk
and lots of things to say.

When evening came upon the town
and the hour was drawing near
The town square filled with villagers
though the reason was unclear.

"Who was he?" many people asked,
"Why do we make this fuss?"
"What is this thing he said he had
to give away to us?"

Suddenly, the crowd grew silent
and there was heard a sound.
A clopping noise came from behind
And people turned around.

The stranger had arrived again
and silence did ensue,
and as he rolled into the throng
the crowd slowly withdrew.

When he reached the center
of the village square he stopped.
He stood and smiled down at the folks
then from his seat he dropped.

There was a murmur from the crowd
as people tried to see
what the stranger's business was,
and who he claimed to be.

He opened up the carriage door
and put a stool upon the ground,
and with a basket full of bottles
he stepped up and looked around.

"Hark ye! Gather near to me--
come hither with great haste.
move quickly before the day is done
let not a minute waste."

"You there, small timid man
with long and crooked nose;
I see that curiosity
within you surely grows."

"You too, old woman
there, way in back
with grey-streaked hair
and dressed in black."

"Come forth, good people
for I have brought
something that you surely need
but currently have not."

"I offer you salvation
from discomfort and from pain
to you I give my bottled cure.
From payment please refrain."

"I see from many faces here
that are staring out at me,
that some of you are skeptics
while others yearn to see."

"Worry not the least dear friends,
it is my gift to you.
My payment is to see you well
when tomorrow's sky turns blue."

He offered bottles in both hands
held outward toward the fray
and slowly townsfolk inched in close
to what he held their way.

"Don't be afraid," he volunteered
as he held the bottles out.
"There's nothing here unsafe for you
of that please have no doubt."

The townsfolk began to make their way
to the stranger's outstretched arms
and slowly excitement began to grow
as they were caught up in his charms.

No one seemed to notice
that he had the exact amount
of bottles for each person there
or that he did without a count.

Soon everyone was drinking
and the contents were all gone
and people looked around to see if
anything was going on.

A murmur rose from in the crowd
and it began to rise.
"I don't feel any different...
...how about you?" became the cries.

The stranger climbed back up atop
the zebra-powered cart.
He stood and faced the crowd once more
and held his arms apart.

"You'll see or feel nothing at all
until the morning light.
So just relax and go about
your evening, and good night."

He turned and sat upon the seat
and gave the reins a shake
and suddenly he and his cart were gone
leaving chaos in his wake.

When morning came the town was still;
no people and no sound.
There were still the sounds of nature
but no humans were around.

Then in the eerie stillness
a familiar sound was heard:
The stranger and his zebra's hooves
where the only thing that stirred.

He paused at each and every door
while the zebras patiently stood
he went inside and came back with
anything that looked good.

When he had went through every house
he had spent the entire day,
a multitude of very tiny folks
watched him roll away.

Rhymes for the Workplace Bathroom

By Rick Williams


[I wrote each of these to combat specific problems where I used to work]


Apparently from what I am seeing
you pick your nose while you are peeing.
Please stop it quick
'fore we get sick.
On that we're all agreeing.
_____

To flush these you must do it quick;
don't pull the handle slow.
You have to do it with a flick
to stop the water's flow.

Unless you really like to mop
the floor up every day,
flush it quick so it will stop
and dry our feet will stay.

Don't Waste the Chance

By Rick Williams


June is here
with rain--it's clear.
Don't miss a chance to mow!

The lawn grows fast
green: Unsurpassed
you can almost see it grow.

Dry days are rare
so don't EVEN dare
miss a single chance you get.

Get out on that mower
and cut that grass lower...
and HURRY--before you get wet!

Sunity

By Rick Williams


The rays of sun caress my skin
and wrap me in their glow.
It blesses me; I feel alive;
tingling from head to toe.

As summer's end grows closer
it once again sends forth
the signal to shed clothing
before winter winds of north.

The solar heat warms gently
and accompanied by breezes
the cooling effect of gentle wind
feels good on skin it teases.

All our bodies' little hairs
exposed when we are bare
are energized receptors
of the sun and breezes there.

People wear clothing since day one
and we never question why.
Most of us would never dream
of giving nudity a try.

The small amount of folks that do
know of its healing power.
It cleanses cobwebs from the mind
like taking a mental shower.

When temperatures are perfect
it's so nice to shed your clothes
But it makes a difference where you're at
before you do expose.

The best, of course, are places
out away from prying eyes.
Like forests, lakes, or beaches
with space and clear blue skies.

When finally the suns rays go
and getting dressed is near
it's hard to think that it might be
the last until next year.

This word of mine called Sunity
was invented just for fun.
You just take a little nudity
and sprinkle it with sun.

Bliss

By Rick Williams


Hot tub soaking
laughing and joking

Drinking beer
with good friends near

Warm water fun
in tropical sun

Craigslist deals
and things with wheels

Picture taking
Fall leaf raking

The smell of rain
Riding trains

Computer play
A roadside cafe

Watching good flicks
with action and chicks

Thrift store things
Hummingbird wings

Acoustic guitars
Shooting stars

Things like this
to me, bring bliss!

The Scent of a Woman

By Rick Williams


A woman's scent
will stir warm thoughts
and tie my stomach
into knots.

Is it a curse?
No, it's a blessing
it's pure pleasure
far from distressing.

When did it start?
I don't quite know,
but it did, and it
began to grow.

I'd stop, transfixed
right where I stood
with eyes closed tight
indeed I would.

With vertigo
I'd sometimes reel
my head would spin
and weird I'd feel.

The scent of any woman
is the essence of their soul
I love to breathe them in
and behind them love to stroll.

Emailed Rhymes to Dana

By Rick Williams


[Dana was the administrative assistant where I worked.  A great sense of humor and a certain amount of craziness emanated from her all the time.  The following rhymes were all things that popped into my mind and were emailed to her at various times when we worked there.]


There once was a woman named Dana
Who fell and her ass was in pain-a
It hurt her to sit
and to pee and to (uh, you know)
So from wild sex had to refrain-a.

------

Ally, Dana's beautiful daughter
to LaCroy her mom finally brought her.
She has very nice clothes
and the reason I knows
is 'cause Dana borrows some that she got her.

The mouthful of braces she had
that were bought by her mom & her dad
are finally gone
and now she can yawn
without the embarrassment she had.

Now her beautiful smile is all done
and her teeth can shine bright like the sun.
All those nice pearly whites
can shine brightly like lights
and her grin will now dazzle and stun.

------

A whoosh as Dana hurried by;
a flash of purple too.
A merry twinkle in her eye
a smile and by she blew.

Her energy seemed limitless
no pausing ever shown.
She's lucky that she wore no dress
or high it might have flown!

------

Here's a note.
I'd like to say:
I hope you have
a decent day.

I'm sorry for your
family woes
and all the stuff
that with it, goes.

Just so you know that
as your friend
I'm behind you and
support I send.

------

Dana is a naughty girl
or maybe she's pretending,
but either way is fine with me;
no risk of her offending.

I'm just a dirty-minded man
with titties on the brain
and from those thoughts of nakedness
I find I can't abstain.

Undressing ladies in my mind
is something that I do
but I've never actually attempted
to use a mirror on my shoe.

Suggestive comments, body moves
or any of that stuff
all energize my shallow mind--
I just can't get enough.

So Dana: Lay it on as thick
as you feel like you can
naughty stuff just makes my day
'cause I am just a man.

Lethargic Limerick

By Rick Williams


While commuting to work one fine day
it struck me how little I play.
Is my energy just low
or have I gotten just so
used to sitting down all stinkin' day?

Pleading for Air

By Rick Williams


The freezing rain that fell that night
broke trees and branches with its might.

Then people piled and burned the stuff
that fell when trees had had enough.

The pungent, bluish smoky haze
goes not, but rather, here it stays.

Instead of hauling it away
they opted to burn fires all day.

Sure, nature's way of pruning a tree
isn't everyone's cup of tea;

but I wish that folks would think of those
that have bad lungs or tender nose.

Our eyes burn hot when we're outside
in neighborhoods where we reside.

Come on people, stop burning crap
that's still full green and filled with sap.

House Guests

By Rick Williams


When house-guests drop into your life
you try your best to be
a gracious host or hostess;
treating them with dignity.

For their visit we must shelve
our privacy at home;
we don't know what they'll hear or see,
or where they'll peek or roam.

We know it's just for a short while
that they'll be in our way
but what an impact they can make
when in our house all day.

Their tastes or lack thereof can be
a catalyst for pain.
TV, food, or anything you do
are reasons to complain.

Let's say we choose to slave all day
to make them something great
they'll say, "Oh no--I can't eat that--
it keeps me up too late."

You do your best to keep it quiet
because that's what nice folks do
but when you need to get your sleep:
Consideration--Out it flew.

I'm sure it's not intentional
when guests step on our toes
they're just opinionated folks
with every thought disclosed.

When your rope is wearing thin,
and they're just too much to face
sneak off to your favorite private spot
you call your Happy Place.

Nipples

By Rick Williams


Nipples big, and nipples small;
I'm pretty sure I love them all.

While visible is, of course, better
I also like them under sweaters.

There's something about them that I love
but what it is I'm not sure of.

Maybe it's the boobs they're on, no
maybe it's the way they grow.

I do remember there was one time
when I was in the check-out line...

The cashier asked, "Hi, how are you?"
when I answered her nipples grew!

I think that I was mesmerized
by how they instantly re-sized.

I know I lost my train of thought
when they spoke to me, "Forget-us-not."

It's easily been decades now
since that event made me say 'wow'.

I bet I'd recognize her to this day
those nipples made that moment stay.

A Thank-you to Gwen

By Rick Williams


Our bridges, metaphorically, have spanned
a lot that's shaped our lives
experiences that have flowed beneath
have placed wisdom behind our eyes.

I wish still had details from
how and when we met
but these days I find it's harder
to remember than forget.

The things you recommend I do
when I'm spouting 'woe is me'
are all good things I need to hear
but I'm too damned blind to see.

I know that I'm a selfish man
I've always leaned that way
Unfortunately, I'm much more 'me' than 'we'
in decisions made each day.

I'd like to think I've gotten better
as I've aged and learned
but once again I ran right smack
into a lecture that I earned.

So if you see me at it again
with my self-centered line of thought
Feel free to let me have it with
both barrels--hold back naught.

A Limerick for Gwen

By Rick Williams


A golden-haired woman named Gwen
who was special to me way back when
We had some good times
although none involved rhymes
I was apparently less poetic back then.